Let’s clear something up…
COACHES ARE NOT CONSULTANTS.
…We are not mentors.
…We do not disciple.
…We do not administer therapy.
We can consult, mentor, disciple and (if licensed) administer therapy.
But at the end of the day…
If you consult, mentor, or provide therapy
when you should be coaching,
it’s important for you to understand
that it borders between
unethical and illegal,
and can be dangerous
to your client and your business.
But don’t worry!
I care TOO much about you to even
let you stress out about that.
Which is why today, you’re going to
discover the 4 Distinctions that make
coaching unique, different and POWERFUL.
Let me break it down for you:
THIS WILL HELP YOU…
step away from a mediocre,
kind of coaching and
move you into a level of
kind of coaching, so you can
easily sign happy, high-paying clients,
with fierce confidence.
THIS WILL ALSO HELP YOU…
prevent “after-purchase” frustrations like…
…clients leaving (forever) because they expected you to give them all the answers…
…you innocently leading your clients through dangerous, uncertified therapy…
…clients becoming dependent on you instead of taking responsibility for their own results…
By effectively communicating these 4 distinctions
during your sales calls,
you’ll create high-paying clients who…
…fully understand and appreciate your role (and power) in their lives…
…build immediate buy-in so they can be more vulnerable, open, and honest during your sessions…
…(in my experience), ask you to remain their coach even after your coaching agreement is completed…
And wouldn’t that be #TheBestThingEver!?
So, what makes Coaching unique from
consulting, mentoring, discipleship and therapy?
Distinction #1: Coaches Do Not Answer. We Ask.
(Business Coaches, THIS ONE IS FOR YOU.
There is MAJOR confusion in the entrepreneur
& business world between coaches and consultants.
Hopefully, this helps solve that problem.)
So, the difference between coaches and consultants is
in the journey to finding the “answer.”
Consultants are paid to gather information,
analyze a situation and give expert advice.
(Ex: Sales Consultants may listen in on sales calls,
interview the sales team, speak with clients,
analyze landing pages and sales-copy,
then create a “roadmap” based on her
experience to increase the sales
in a company.)
Coaches, on the other hand, are paid to listen,
encourage, ask questions, keep accountable
& provide perspective from the outside.
MYTH-BUSTER: Coaches do not “give advice.”
Coaches believe in their clients creativity,
resourcefulness and capacity to create
their own answer.
A coach does not need to be the expert.
They believe in the expertise of their clients
and empower their clients to live their greatness.
Consultants give answers.
Coaches ask fierce, provocative questions.
Consultants focus on information and analysis.
Coaches focus on transformation and empowerment.
Consultants provide the framework for success.
Coaches provide the possibilities of success.
Consultants are the experts in a particular industry or field.
Coaches are the encouragers and accountability
partners to their clients dreams
and greater visions.
“Sooooooo… Can a coach also consult?”
The answer is an easy Yes! As long as you communicate
the differences between coaching & consulting,
and as long as the client is aware of the
“profession switch” during the session.
NOTE: If you are paid as a coach, 80% of your work
should be you coaching your client, not you
consulting your client.
Below is a FREE word-for-word script (and
bonus .mp3) I’ve tested and used that
will help you communicate this
distinction in your sales calls.
“Before we go any further, can I make a few
This will help make sure we are on the same page.
I am going to primarily be your coach.
As we discussed, I will encourage you, challenge you,
and be courageously honest with you.
I will say the things everyone else is afraid to say
and ask you things no one else will ask you.
At times, if we both agree and I think it
will serve you extraordinarily, I will move
from coach to consultant and provide
you with a framework for your success
based on my experience in the business
and marketing world.
But at the foundation of our work together,
I will be your coach. How does that sound?”
Distinction #2: Coaches Do Not Fix. We Help Fulfill.
Legal stuff can be frustrating and messy.
(But don’t worry – lucky for you, I brought my
legal-mop to help clean up the mess!)
The difference between a coach and a therapist
is found in what we address & how we address it.
Therapists are paid to help people handle harmful
issues, such as anxiety, depression, and grief.
Therapists are a kind of scientist who research,
study, and help their clients fix psychological
Coaches are paid to empower their clients to
realize their full-potential. They don’t need to
“fix” their clients.
Coaches aren’t scientist, they’re partners trained
to seek out and hold their client’s accountable
to their best “self.”
Therapists focus on restoration.
Coaches focus on transformation.
Therapists help fix problems.
Coaches help fulfill potential.
Therapists consider what’s past.
Coaches consider what’s possible.
Can a coach use therapeutic skills?
Yes, and no.
Yes, you can use therapeutic techniques to help
your client become more aware of their full
No, you cannot diagnose a psychological problem.
Ultimately, you’re job is to guide them to greater
fulfillment, not to help fix a medical issue.
If you aren’t a licensed therapist, I would HIGHLY
recommend you make this known in your Coaching
Orientation session and in your contract.
This protects you and your client from future legal frustrations.
Below is a word-for-word script, bonus .mp3,
and contract template that I’ve tested and
used that will help you make this distinction.
“Another distinction I’d like to make is that
I am not a licensed therapist.
I am not experienced in psychotherapy, psychopathology or therapeutic skills.
I am a coach.
I make this distinction because if something
comes up that I believe is outside of my skill
or expertise, I want you to feel safe
knowing that I will communicate that to you.
If at any point, I believe therapy would be
a great supplement to our work together,
I do have a few therapist in the SoCal area
that I work with and completely trust.
Don’t worry, this will all be in our contract,
so you can refer to it at any time.
How does that sound?”
Distinction #3: Coaches Do Not Duplicate. We Originate.
You still with me? Good! ‘Cus it’s about to get AWESOME-er!
The difference between coaches and mentors
is found in the intended result.
Mentors are usually experienced authorities in their field
who model the skills and traits their clients/mentee
want to achieve.
This kind of relationship can happen between
an authority and her replacement, or an
authority and his team.
(Ex. Executive and Manager, Pastor and Staff, Parent and Child)
Coaches do not mentor, because they do not
want to duplicate themselves.
They believe in the creative uniqueness of their clients.
Coaches help their clients find greater clarity
around their dreams and deeper insight
into who they “really” are.
Coaches focus on originality.
Mentors intentionally train in order to create successors.
Coaches give permission to originality and help
clients create a greater future.
Mentors train others to do what they do with
a level of excellence.
Coaches guide clients into a more fulfilled, authentic self.
Mentors focus on conforming.
Coaches focus on transforming.
This can get tricky, especially when coaches work with
newer coaches. It’s easy to copy someone
that you admire.
… The way they ask questions…
… The way they market + brand their practice…
… The way they coach…
Coaching is incredibly raw and creative and special.
Of course, there are principles all coaches appl
in their work. But when it gets down to a
one-on-one with a client, unless a coach
has discovered what makes her unique,
she will always be limited to how far
she can take her client.
Even in my apprenticeships, I have to be careful.
The world does not need more me’s.
It needs more original, creative,
and powerful coaches.
Which means, even as my apprentice,
you have to discover your own
unique coaching style.
It’s easy to fake-it-til-you-make-it.
But being fake has no place in coaching.
Being authentic, and real, and scared, and vulnerable,
and broken. That’s when coaching succeeds.
Below is a word-for-word script and bonus .mp3
I’ve tested and used that will help you make
this distinction. #MoreFreeStuff!
“The third distinction I want to make is that I believe in you.
I know that sounds strange,
and I’m not sure if you’ve
heard that recently, but
I really, honestly, do.
I believe in your ability to be unique and honest
and authentic. And I believe that somewhere
in your life, you were told you can’t,
you won’t, you’ll fail.
My job is to go to battle for you, and tell you that
you can, you will, and I’m here to see you succeed.
This means that we’re going to do intensive work
so you can uncover what’s unique about you.
You’re job isn’t to copy me.
You’re job is to be more you. When you are you,
you’ll be irreplaceable. How does that sound?”
Distinction #4: Coaches Do Not Disciple. We Remind.
This is where a lot of Christian Coaches get mixed up.
Personally, I believe discipleship is of
greater importance than coaching.
If all we had was Christ,
we’d have everything.
The focus of discipleship is teaching believers
the life-giving theology of Jesus Christ
while helping them apply it
in their lives.
As Christian Coaches and believers,
we are all disciples of Christ.
Which means our relationship with Him is
more important than our relationship
with our clients or their relationship
Our faith should shake us, and change us, and move us.
And too often, our faith becomes a ritual
when it should be a revival.
(This is so important to me that I posted this rant
in the “Become A Christian Coach”
Discipleships is necessary for successful
Because discipleship lays the foundation of
everything that we do.
It gives us the eternal perspective that God has
wiped us clean, chosen us to do His work,
and has given us Grace to get the job done.
Discipleship focuses on teaching.
Coaches focus on reminding.
Discipleship helps you understand you have a purpose.
Coaches help you explore what that purpose could be.
Discipleship teaches our royalty positions in Christ.
Coaches remind us of our royalty when we’re
stuck in our day-to-day lives.
Soooo… Can a coach also disciple?
The answer is yes – with a twist.
I do not believe that your coaching replaces
your clients church attendance, nor does it
replace their personal bible study.
One of the requirements I give my clients is weekly
church attendance, daily prayer/journaling time,
and personal bible study.
Because it is a vital piece of our work.
We are Christian Coaches.
We don’t believe in some strange higher-power,
or the universe, or some new-age philosophy.
We believe in the Holy Spirit, in the God who
created the heavens and earth, who shattered
the gates of hell, and set the captives free.
And if they aren’t hearing from Him on their own time,
they won’t be able to hear from you or me.
And our work will always be a step behind it’s best.
Below is a word-for-word script and bonus .mp3
I’ve tested and used that will help you make
this distinction. #MostImportantFreeStuff
“The last distinction I want to make is this.
I am a Christian Coach.
We’ve already discussed a little bit about
your relationship with God, but you need
to know that I put a large emphasis on
the holy spirit during our sessions.
Which means that I promise to be lead by God
in our work together.
I require that you do the same.
We will pray before and after our sessions.
God will always be at the center of our
And I’ll require that you take time and stay
accountable to your own personal salvation.
That means going to church,
reading your word,
and having a fervent prayer life.
If this sounds good to you,
then I think we’re ready to move forward.
How does that sound?”
Your work as a coach is unique.
As a coach, you have the power to create miracles.
To take someone from here to there.
From darkness to light.
From hopelessness to possibilities.
Understanding what makes your work different
from the rest of the relational professions
will allow you to work from a place of
power and confidence, asking courageous
questions, and allowing your clients to be
more vulnerable then ever.
Your potential clients will also find the confidence
to say “Heck Yes!” to you as a coach and you will
gain the skill serve and sell.
Remember, coaching isn’t about copying.
It’s not about being fake.
It’s not about imitation.
A great coach understands that the power of
the coaching relationship isn’t about his ability
to coach, it’s about his clients ability to create.
These scripts are yours to play with.
Try them out. See what works and
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And hey, keep up the great work…
Excited to connect and hear from you!